Taking Stock before the Next Big Step

Tomorrow I start grad school. Yeah. Yeah.

I am literally all nerves right now. Just one big walking display of anxiety. I saw a post called "Taking Stock" here and thought it was just lovely and a little bit what I needed in this moment, so I'm gonna take that inspiration and run with it for a second. And hopefully that will help.

Making: myself sick anticipating tomorrow and this upcoming summer. Also, a calendar. Lord, give me peace and calm my spirit tonight because I am freaking out fo sho.

Cooking: absolutely nothing and regretting it. I really need to get into the habit of cooking again. Maybe some meal planning would help?

Drinking: water, water, water over the past few days. Also, beer, but hello, it's summer.

Reading: surprisingly nothing right now! I was nervous to start something before grad classes because I didn't think I'd have time to finish it.

Wanting: a magical scholarship fairy. Or a billionaire boyfriend. Or both.

Looking: for dresses that make me feel like Lydia Martin.

Playing: lots of QuizUp. Hits on my love of trivia and my natural competitiveness.

Wasting: time sleeping by writing this instead.

Wishing: for a dude who loves Jesus and looks like Dylan O'Brien.

Enjoying: watching my siblings grow up. New friends. Two dollar mimosas at Saturday brunch.

Waiting: impatiently for the next episode of "Teen Wolf" because I'm actually 13 years old.

Liking: Brooklyn 99 and late-night chill-outs watching Jimmy Fallon in the living room.

Wondering: how they would ever let this weirdo teach impressionable teens?!

Loving: my parents and heart to hearts with friends.

Hoping: that I actually wake up on time tomorrow.

Marveling: at wedding videos on Pinterest.

Needing: to be tired already.

Smelling: hopefully better than I look right now.

Wearing: cut-off shorts or dresses almost every day.

Following: two dreams at once.

Noticing: different ways to show love in actions and in truth.

Knowing: that I have to be better about giving my worries up to God. You've got this, I'm just constantly struggling to loosen the reins.

Thinking: a ton about Katie's wedding (!!!).

Bookmarking: anything about drama education.

Opening: a new chapter in my life in less than eight hours.

Giggling: about anything and everything, always.

Feeling: overwhelmed and excited.

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Saturday Night Musings

Real talk and cake sharing with a best friend is the ultimate cure-all. After a rough couple days at work, some quality time with one of my main squeezes was just the thing.

I taught my littlest sister how to play Nertz tonight. It was just a little fun thing to do, but it was also one of those moments where I thought to myself "Huh, this is kind of one of those tiny things you remember when you're thirty-something: the first time you taught your little sister your favorite card game and played for two straight hours".

Okay, I've always thought of myself as someone who didn't believe in "friendzoning". I mean, I get it, but I don't, because I kind of think it's the "Nice"-Guy-Cop-Out ("Oh, I was only being nice to that girl because I wanted it to lead to dating and then it turned out - shocker! - she actually was just interested in friendship, so instead of taking it like a man, I'm gonna get all butt-hurt about it and complain about how lame she is for putting me in the non-existant "friendzone"!") and let's be honest, if a dude loves Jesus, doesn't smoke, and he comes in wearing a bowtie or talking about how funny Thomas Middleditch is, it's not like I'm not going to give him a chance, regardless of any zone!
But tonight, I was talking to a friend about this one moment in any guy-girl friendship. I'm still not sure if I believe in the friendzone, but I do believe in the "We would just never work" moment. It's this point in any friendship where, due to one thing or another, even if you've never had any romantic feelings for this person at all, you suddenly realize that even if you did, it probably wouldn't work.
Maybe he's a loud mouth breather.
Maybe he corrects everything you say a la Ted Mosby.
Maybe he doesn't like Harry Potter which is LITERALLY MY ULTIMATE DEALBREAKER.
Maybe he has your complete opposite sense of humor.
I think four examples is enough.
I completely believe every guy-girl friendship either has had it or it's a-comin'.
I know The Moment and the friendzone probably sound really similar and maybe it's just that I see the latter with a very irritating connotation, but to me, they are so different.

There were a lot of quotation marks in that last section and it is stressing me out. Don't look, avert your eyes.

I think I watch enough "Jackass" reruns to technically be considered a thirteen year old boy.

God is so great, y'all. He has put such beautiful, flawed, perfect people into my life and I'm just feeling really blessed lately.

Thank you, Lord, for the sock bun. It turns my embarrassingly dirty locks and preference of hang outs over hair washing into a fake clean, ever so hip cover-up and this Cheater Cheater Pumpkin (spice cake) Eater is very thankful.

On my mind lately

1. Can't stop listening to "Who Are You Really?" by Mikky Ekko. Seriously, give it a whirl. This song while I'm driving around town at two am with the windows down? Perfection.
2. I had a really great 23rd birthday. My friends are the absolute best. Girly movie day, dinner with friends, a twenty person "I Want It That Way" sing-a-long, and karaoke? I am one lucky lady.
3. Finished watching both Teen Wolf (haters gonna hate, but I'm obsessed) and Happy Endings (honestly the best show that no one is watching) and I seriously cannot wait until there are new episodes of each. Maybe now I can catch up on PLL?
4. I'm officially living with my main squeezes, Betsy and Kaylie, again next year and I could not be more pumped.
5. Today, I'm taking my new bike out for its first spin! Did I mention how great my birthday was? My parents bought me a new cruiser (my old bike was from middle school and sold in a garage sale before I went off to college) and since the weather has finally warmed up, today is the day!

And to top all the good things off, here's Frank Ocean singing Coldplay's "Strawberry Swing"

InstaJanuary

January, you've been good to me.

Spent five hours building an (impulse buy) k'nex roller coaster

Celebrated my Mom's "25th" and Kenzie's 12th birthdays

Won my first CRU prize (!!!) after a year and a half team effort

Wedding crafting with the soon-to-be Mrs. Wedel

Started weekly Thursday Night Family Dinners with the gang

Finally read Pride and Prejudice (an obsession for a later post)

Began our first week of small group with The Ladiez

Cheers to you, January.

(Aw, shoo, if I become one of those girls that's always Instagram-ing things and has like, six photos of coffee cups and her cat all over her Facebook feed every day, just put me out of my misery right here, right now. I am better than that. I am better than The Gap!)

Encouragement!

I am big on encouragement. I love to give it and I love to receive it. (Words of Affirmation is my second highest love language, do with that what you will.)
I was already a fan of Kid President, but this is exactly what I needed this afternoon.
A little pep talk.
If you need a pick-me-up or if you just wanna feel a little more "good-er" than you did three minutes ago, then this is a gift from me to you.

Let's stop being boring, get on the same team, and create something awesome!

These are a few of my favorite things.

About an hour ago, I'm sitting in my parents' kitchen when my Mom comes home from work, says "Hey, I got you something", and plops this bad boy down on the table.
Hello, Sweetest Mom on the Planet.
RyGos, sweet tea, and a new episode of "New Girl" are my version of bright copper kettles and warm, woolen mittens.